Empathy- Standing In Someone Else’s Shoe
The word empathy traces its roots back in early history and is derived from the Greek term empatheia, which means affection. In the 1800s the word empathy or its German translation Einfuehlung was thought of as connecting with others and internalizing their experiences (Peitchinis, 1990). This is considered to be integral to the therapeutic process and has a strong biological base too (Clark, 2004; Schulte-Ruther et al., 2007; Rogers, 1957). Rogers’s (1957,1959) pioneering work in defining empathy as stepping into the client’s world and experiencing it ‘as if’ its theirs has had far-reaching implications. Modern approaches to therapy think of empathy as fundamental to the process and feeling heard is associated with an array of positive outcomes (Elliot et al., 2011; Neukrug, 2011).
Advanced empathy takes this active listening a step further and discusses how to reflect the deeper feelings and meaning than what is said. This would then shed light on the individual’s sense of self (Neukrug et al., 2013). More recently research also talks about how it might be required to not only shed one’s preconceived notions about the individual , but also actively account for the ethno-cultural influences and personal preferences that impact the person’s experience (Parson, 1993).
Research has suggested a plethora of techniques and tools that can be used to practice and cultivate empathy. Learning, modeling and practicing these skills can be beneficial. (Kelley et al., 2013; Lutz et al., 2008; Neukrug et al., 2013; Passmore & Oades, 2015)
Paraphrasing: Using your words to rephrase what is being said accurately.
Transitional phrases and Parroting: Repeating the verbatim and encouraging them to speak more through phrases such as okay, go on can help someone feel listened to.
Reflecting: Reading between the lines and summing up your observation of the person’s deepest feelings through statements such as It sounds like you are … (emotion word)
Providing comfort: Expressing your regret or sorrow at someone’s suffering using ’ I’ statements, consoling them by instilling hope, reassurance or providing alternative explanations, sharing their suffering and validating their experience can be helpful. Being aware of their stage of suffering while providing comfort can propel or halt the healing process.
Discrepancies: While facing contradictory statements, dilemmas or such predicaments, the individual might be torn between two sides. Reflecting both ends can provide clarity to the person which might help them prioritize what they value.
Metaphors, Analogies and Imagery: Using these tools can aid encapsulate a person’s experience while teaching them a new perspective. Drawing parallels with real-world examples, for instance comparing being a pet parent to bringing up a child can introduce a new narrative to a struggling parent and help them overcome the challenge by seeing it in a new light.
Loving-kindness meditation: It is a simple, flexible meditation art that encourages self and other compassion and can foster empathy. Chanting praise or blessing words in a comfortable, distraction-free space as you focus on listening and internalizing the meaning of the affirmations can be empowering (May I/you be well).
Random acts of kindness: Simple gestures such as helping colleagues, greeting them, sending cards or flowers, expressing gratitude and adopting a positive stance towards people’s behaviors can instill empathy.
References:
Clark, A. J. (2004). Empathy: Implications of three ways of knowing in counseling.
Journal of Humanistic Counseling Education, and Development, 43, 141-151. https://doi.org/10.1002/j.2164-490X.2004.tb00014.x
Elliott, R., Bohart, A. G., Watson, J. G.,Greenberg, L. S. (2011). Empathy. Psychotherapy, 48,43-49. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0022187
Kelley, Kevin J.; Kelley, Mary F. (2013). Teaching Empathy and Other Compassion-Based Communication Skills. Journal for Nurses in Professional Development, 29(6), 321–324. https://doi.org/10.1097/01.nnd.0000436794.24434.90
Lutz A., Brefczynski-Lewis J., Johnstone T., Davidson R.J. (2008). Regulation of the neural circuitry of emotion by compassion meditation: Effects of meditative expertise. PLoS ONE 3(3). https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0001897
Neukrug, E. (2011).Counseling theory and practice. Belmont, CA: Brooks/Col. https://books.google.co.in/books/about/Counseling_Theory_and_Practice.html?id=_DCaT0JmFNMC&redir_esc=y
Neukrug, E., Bayne, H., Dean-Nganga, L., & Pusateri, C. (2013). Creative and novel approaches to empathy: A neo-Rogerian perspective. Journal of Mental Health Counseling, 35(1), 29-42. https://doi.org/10.17744/mehc.35.1.5q375220327000t2
Parson, E.R. (1993). Ethnotherapeutic empathy (EthE)—Part II: Techniques in interpersonal cognition and vicarious experiencing across cultures. , 23(3), 171–182. https://doi.org/10.1007/bf00945977
Passmore, J., & Oades, L. G. (2015). Positive psychology techniques: random acts of kindness and consistent acts of kindness and empathy. The Coaching Psychologist, 11(2), 90-92. https://doi.org/10.1002/9781119835714.ch49
Peitchinis, J. (1990). The historical roots of empathy in the helping professions. In R. McKay, J.Hughes, E. Carver (Eds.), Empathy in the helping relationship, 28-46. New York, NY: Springer. https://books.google.co.in/books/about/Empathy_in_the_Helping_Relationship.html?id=SRttAAAAMAAJ&redir_esc=y
Rogers, C. R. (1957). The necessary and sufficient conditions of therapeutic personality change. Journal of Consulting Psychology, 21,95-103. https://doi.org/10.1037/h00453
Rogers, C. R. (1959). A theory of therapy, personality and interpersonal relationships as developed in the client-centered framework. In S. Koch (Ed.), Psychology: A study of science. Vol. 3, Formulations of the person and the social context, 184-256). New York, NY: McGraw-Hi. https://books.google.co.in/books/about/A_Theory_of_Therapy_Personality_and_Inte.html?id=zsIBtwAACAAJ&redir_esc=y
Schulte-Ruther, M., Markowitsch, H. J., Fink, G. R.,Piefke, M. (2007). Mirror neuron and theory of mind mechanisms involved in face-to-face interactions: A functional magnetic resonance imaging approach to empathy. Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience, 9, 1354-1372. https://doi.org/10.1162/joen.2007.19.8.1354